Mango Fight!
MANGO FIGHT!
An eccentric CEO overreacts to news threatening his business. The overreaction leads to a series of lies and cover-ups that the American people don’t know how to react to.
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12/30 - Johansson grabbed the dossier from the other lone man passing on the merry-go-round. The next horse carried a grubby child not grasping because of caramel-covered hands. He slipped and grabbed Johansson’s hanging coat dragging on top of him between empty rows. “I’m sorry, mister,” said the boy. Johansson regarded his stained coat, then looked around.
“You ok?” he replied.
“Yes”.
“Good.”
Johansson slapped the boy with a wrist flick, then skipped away.
12/20 – Armed peasants in Honduras seized the Dole banana plantation they worked. Their message was - enough. Many had died working for substandard wages. The plantation will be held until the company pays compensation to the dead.
Johansson laughed at Dole’s plummeting stock prices but realized that Foster Fruits, his company, risked the same at their plants in El Salvador. So, he arranged a meeting.
A muscular spook in black and black glasses rose and fell on the horse next to Johansson’s. It was an unpopular day for the National Mall Carousel. “My company has a Latin affiliate that could regulate. Cielo Negro, mostly former Guatemalan special forces.”
“Thanks, Erik.”
“Who?”
“Sorry. Thanks, Raven. This should pay their salaries the next six months. It’s undocumented. We can’t be caught using that 1950s United Fruit Company playbook.”
“I understand. I suggest you offer the farmers something sweet to distract them from the presence of the soldiers. Its almost Christmas.”
He descended the horse and left Johansson in deep thought.
12/28 – US Senate Committee on Labor Rights
Johannsson gave his account of his pre-Christmas visit to El Salvador. “I personally visited the site of the alleged ‘shooting’. The workers had just been having a mango fight! A common occurrence in these places,” claimed the smug CEO. “When I arrived, they had just finished dancing. A monkey fell onto my shoulder and hugged my face. It was quite delightful,” he chuckled. “The employees and I decorated a Christmas tree. We were about to take a photo when it rained. Oh well…next time.”
“Initial reporting says one person and four monkeys were shot. How do you explain why this farm hasn’t produced any fruit for export the last week when there is such a high yield that workers and wildlife can have mango fights?”
Johansson hesitated. “We gave the employees the week off. Employee Appreciation Week, as it happens. A time to be with their families and ponder the things that matter the most.” He looked out of a window with faux wistfulness.
“This committee has also been informed that no media agencies have been permitted to the area to conduct interviews. Just one last question, Mr. Johansson. Do you consider this committee a joke?”
“No, sir,” replied the CEO with a toothy smile.
The real sequence of events was different:
12/22 - “Hello employees, I want to wish you a happy holiday season. To ensure a safe and worry-free work environment, we’ve brought in additional manpower to provide security against any external threats. He gestured at two men in green camouflage wearing ammunition vests and holding assault rifles. “And furthermore, Feliz Navidad! Johansson yanked a blanket off a palm tree revealing Christmas decorations. The workers were confused and unimpressed but offered applause to shoo the silence. An oversized ornament fell from a weak palm frond and scattered the crowd, as it shattered by their feet. “um that’s not all,” said Johansson trying to save face. “I also brought you this!” He smiled and gestured at a small merry-go-round typically found in children’s playgrounds. Another round of awkward applause. The employees shuffled away before any weirder things could happen.
The employees were not considering a revolt. They worked long hours and were paid little, but found joy in simple delights. Rodrigo Castillo, went to work with a smile because a funny little monkey called Pepe, would help him fill his quota tossing him fruits from high branches. After work, he relaxed with his wife and baby.
12/23 - Pepe tossed a mango to Rodrigo as something splattered against his face. He looked around to see a smiling colleague. He wiped the juice from his face and yelled, “MANGO FIGHT!” The place erupted in cheers as everyone started pelting each other with mangos. The guards looked on in astonishment. Rodrigo pulled out his phone and filmed the joy. Pepe couldn’t distinguish the guards from the workers, he dropped a hard mango on of the armed men, who immediately sprayed the area with automatic fire. The game ended. Rodrigo and four monkeys were dead.
12/24 – “What a disaster!” said Johansson to Raven under carnival music as they spun another merry-go-round in Northern Virginia. “It is indeed, sir. But Cielo Negro managed to shut the area off to journalists. Let’s give it a day!”
12/25 – On Christmas, the media overlookedthat story and all was copasetic for Foster Fruits. Americans preferred to believe Johannsson’s testimony rather than that something horrible happened. Meanwhile, Pepe the monkey slunk away to a nearby village carrying the last memento of Rodrigo, his phone.
12/30 – Raven phoned Johannsson. “There’s a problem.” Raven discovered a video of the plantation shootings existed and planned to deal with it.
“Let’s meet,” replied Johannsson.
“Sir, I really think you should let me handle this rather than meeting at some Merry-go…”
“Same time, same place.”
“ugh.” Raven hung up.
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The slapped boy told his mother what happened. “And the man dropped this paper.”
She examined it. Rodrigo’s video showed the guards shooting and emerged on an unclaimedInstagram account. The angry mother brought the document to the Washington Post. The truth came out.
Johansson refused to resign until a board member offered a clandestine meeting at a capitol-area merry-go-round.
Instead of the public demanding ethical treatment of agricultural workers in Latin America, the emphasis was paid to the dead monkeys. Liberals nationwide started fundraising for monkey preserves near Central American fruit harvesting centers.
Rodrigo’s widow bounced her infant as she watched the campaign gain traction on CNN.
“Fucking Americans.”