Please Invade Earth!

(entry for NYC Midnight 250-word flashfiction challenge 2021)

Theme: Sci Fi

Action: Sawing wood

Word: close

The Strome fleet hovered in the stratosphere monitoring signals intelligence worldwide. The humans were on the brink of nuclear war. Many prayed to the aliens for intervention. “Would you PLEASE INVADE EARTH!” But that policy wasn’t in the Strome’s interest… until some moronic American general fired an ICBM at the mothership. “Whoa, that was way too close,” commented one analyst. “Agreed,” said Joerg. “Prepare for massive retaliation.”

In days Joerg’s people had reduced human civilization to near prehistory. “Mission accomplished,” remarked Joerg to his president. “Earth is defenseless. They’re rebuilding, but I’ll keep an eye on these fuckers.”

“Outstanding job, general. Update me if the humans show any sign of rearming,” replied the president.

“Aye aye, sir.”

Joerg observed what used to be London through a high-powered camera. A humble farmer was sawing wood and smiling at the simplicity of his life. An adorable girl ran out of a shack and handed him a can of kerosene. “Here you go, daddy.”

“Thank you, my love. Would you tell your mother we’re almost ready to cook dinner?”

She nodded and ran back.

Joerg cocked an eyebrow. ‘It’s only for cooking. I’ll call it in, anyway,’ he thought. “Hello, Mr. President? There are some humans here with sharp tools… and I think they know how to make fire. Should I…”

“Yes, general. Go ahead and kill them.”

Joerg obliterated the farmers’ plot of land with a laser beam and brought their dinner plans to a close.