Better to Have Loved

As I waited to board a single-engine plane from the Puntarenas region to San Jose (the capital), I thought I was going to have the flight to myself. That’s when a beautiful, tan, blue-eyed (mid-20s) European woman showed up. I made some conversation, my first concern being that she and I might spend the night together. She passively mentioned that she had been visiting her boyfriend, a fortunate Californian, like myself. I quickly dismissed any hopes of a brief encounter and began lamenting my obvious bachelorhood. Why am I single? Why had there not even been a temporary tryst these last three weeks I’ve been in paradise with legions of gorgeous multinational young women? Why am I subconsciously sabotaging my love life?

I got a hold of my downward emotional spiral when I beheld the airport-adjacent plush green field bordered by rainforest. I took the scene for what it was, beautiful and exquisite (unlike my love life, which looks more like Aleppo in 2016.) 

I turned around and noticed that the incredible Austrian woman had gone to sit in the car with her boyfriend for their last moments together for what would surely be months. Before boarding the fragile, tiny aircraft, I told the captain that we were waiting on one more young lady. At this point, an Italian family had joined the flight. 

She sat in front of me, and before we began taxiing, I asked her, “Was that a bit emotional?” She confirmed while laughing through some tears. So, I told her, “before you know it, you’ll be back together, more in love than ever." Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.”

I said it because I know it to be true from experience. You like the person more when you don’t have them near, and you can’t do much about it. And you love them more when you are reunited. (All that aside, I say fuck long-distance relationships!)

Before coming full circle, I dispensed with the underlying complaint of why not me? Such sentiment is the executioner of joy - especially in such a serene place as the Costa Rican coast, which most won’t ever get to experience. Enjoy the here and now, no matter what it is, even if it’s a massive setback, because, in wanting, you may just spoil everything.